May 31, 2004


Yesterday, as I pulled Lorraine into the bridal house car park, cold sweat trickled down my forehead. I had just awakened from my deep afternoon sleep – and was dragged into making this trip to the slaughterhouse – still in the state of regaining my composure from the tired weekend. Still feeling a bit woozy, I slopped across the car park with Emily towards the door made of tempered glass. A feeling of unsureness hovered above me as I inched towards the foyer of the establishment.

Then a blond Chinese version of a skinny Rod Steward bloke opened the door for us.. chanting the butcher’s mantra under his tobacco reeked breath – “Welcome…welcome” – a tradition to bless the butcher of a safe slaughter job. The chant sent a chill down to my spine, as if Death itself was blowing his cold breath with a mouthful of Ice blended Mocha into me …

We were then settled in a table… a table that looked like a giant chopper board to prevent the money sucking cleaver from getting blunt. How slowly should I die under the blade that day? How would the succubus they hired that hailed the name BHA (Bridal House Attendants), suck our blood dry? It was a terror of unimaginable fuck lollipopsicle (I’m trying to make the sentence sound complex and hard to understand..)

It was then, out of my sheer terror, I took the courage to ask my first question :

Me : “… may I ask you … why are we here today?”

One of the succubus there then answered

BHA : “What? You don’t know why you’re here?”

Emily : [glowers at me…]

Me : “Err… not really. I was dragged here actually.”

BHA : “Aww… how could you forget… you’re here because we wanted to show you those Super VIP dresses… remember?”

Me : [stress veins start to pop up on my temple… as I repeatedly swallow my saliva and gunk alike]

Emily : “What? Memory loss aa?”

Then, both the species fired me from all direction with their gaze of blame and prosecution. I was PYT-ed (pei yan tiu). I was then dragged like a lifeless rag doll up to the first floor into the Super VIP room… where I was ravaged of my sanity and tormented of my soul.

I was then shown something beautiful, something that made me felt out of this world… Then, I was mind tricked into signing all pacts and agreements to rob me of all my possessions just to be able to own that piece of short-lived happiness, that was to be freeze into a small expensive gloss album on June 10th. It was as if I’ve been drugged out of my conscious mind. Oh goddamn it.

Now, the price tag of the piece of “frozen moment of youth” stands menacingly at 3 grands. I don’t know how deep am I gonna fall into this chasm full of blood sucking leech… but I know, it will be over soon. May the force be with me.

michaelooi  | 2-of-us  | 

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