last night
Emily & I did something remarkably important and meaningful last night. No .. we did not have sex on my boss’ office desk and squirt slops of recycled semen on it.
We went to get mugged our wedding photos taken. Well, not exactly a photo taking session yet but, yesterday was the day we went to choose what to wear for the real photo taking ordeal event next month.
History: Both Emily and I had registered ourselves as each other’s sex slave 2 years ago .. and we did not intend to make our marriage a grand one … like having a banquet and getting ourselves exhausted organizing an ego flaunting dinner. We plan to have it our way and to hell with all the traditions. Just registration .. and a meager budgeted wedding photo — the latter which have been delayed until yesterday.
Alright, since I’m a very nice guy, I decided to share my experience out in my blog, so that those who have yet to go through this kind of thing … know what to expect when the time comes for themselves.
1830 hours : appointment time due at 1900 hours. I was still on the phone with someone at work. Emily is getting nervous.
1845 hours : I finally managed head my way to bridal house after phone call.
1900 hours : Emily’s mood turned sour when she found out we will be late. She cursed at anything that came in our car’s way .. .including innocent cats, dogs and Kancil drivers.
1935 hours : Finally arrived at bridal house. Bridal house attendants (BHA) looked like a bunch of cash deprived werewolves waiting to mug someone .. and innocent me walked into their den ….and had my destiny changed forever…
1945 - 2100 hours : The BHAs started to dress Emily up with heaps of bridal gowns, dresses and other flowery paraphernalia’s that makes her looked like an entirely different person. As for myself, I’m suppose to sit by the side and give shitass opinions about each dress she’s in. Had a good time ridiculing some of the odd looking dresses - eg: “wahaggghhh !! You looked like a Fabuloso container on that dress ! It’s going to spoil the films and blind the photographer !!”
2100 - 2130 hours : The BHAs decided to mug me more (because I looked cute .. i reckoned) … & brought Emily to a VIP section that featured designer ranged dresses/gowns (which translates to EXTRA FEE if you want them..). Emily gleefully put on one that she likes and ended up choosing it. I instantly became a zombie right on the spot — turned gray, looked blank, emotionless, and started to murmur instead of talk. (only that I smelled better than a real zombie). BHA smirked cunningly when I turned into an undead.
The rest of the time (while Emily was changing) was spent on ogling other bloke’s bride and flirting with bridal house’ chick workers.
2135 hours : The mugging officially adjourned. But it was short-lived, as the BHAs arranged for another session this coming Sunday (I must be damn cute to trigger another appointment..) … and Emily signed up for it. Purpose ? MORE VIP dresses to come …. *tears seeps out from my eye pocket and shimmers like japanese anime girls
On one single night alone, I lost 2 over grands .. and more to come. If it wasn’t the girls, the boys would probably have opted for a simple Polaroid photo on a club scene background as the wedding photo instead of getting blood sucked by those BHAs. *poignantly shakes head in disbelief*
But then, as I thought deeply, for 2 grands (and more to come) … it’s well worth the suffering and tears …. to see one’s own life partner looking so effervescently beautiful and happy in her wedding dress …. freezing her most youthful smile on a glossy book ..and to preserve the proof of our love for many years to come. It’s even harder to believe that for 2 grands (and more to come)…. it can actually buy all that.