There is this ‘pantry fund’ in the office where everyone would contribute 10 bucks monthly to pool some money to buy some necessities for our department office users. Stuff biscuits, 3-in-1 beverages and junk food, you know. The necessities will then be place in a communal spot, where everyone can grab some.
But then lately, there have been some assholes who did not contribute money stealing our biscuits. And it became so frequent that we’re starting to have a shortage of supply. That was when I decided to stop contributing to the fund unless somebody fucking do something about the theft. Besides, I only consume like, average 3 – 4 pcs of biscuits a week — and that definitely doesn’t worth 10 bucks. So I stopped my funding, and it has been 4 months since I paid… until today, I was struck with a pang hunger and stole some biscuits myself… and was unfortunate enough to be spotted by the 2 ladies guarding the holy cache of pooled rations – Kim and Fake.
I bailed the place immediately after realizing that they spotted me, in hope that I could avert any bloody confrontation. But I was wrong. Not long after I have wolfed down those biscuits, Kim & Fake came tramping into my cube. Fake had the exit of my cube blocked and Kim was the one who did the confrontation,
Kim : “Michael… pay up please.”
Direct and straight to the point. Fake then added further,
Fake : “40 bucks… mind you.”
Me : “I’m not gonna pay up. I only took 4 freaking biscuits for god’s sake.”
Fake : “Pay up or we’ll beat you up”
Me : “Look, there’s no need to resort to violence, ok? I’m going to pay only 10 bucks… and that’s it” [whips out 10 bucks]
Kim : [snatches the 10 bucks] “You’ll still need to pay the balance… or else, you’ll know the consequences”
Me : “Hey… if you want money, why don’t you collect from those scoundrels who stole our biscuits?”
Fake : “That’s not our problem. You just need to pay up…”
And the 2 girls ambled away counting their money with an attitude. I was mugged 10 bucks for eating 4 pieces of biscuits in the broad daylight. I wonder would have happened if I hijacked the whole container of biscuits instead? I would probably be brutally raped… mutilated and cannibalized by these 2 bitches from hell… no shit.
My office is a dangerous place I tell you.