mugged

In my office, we have this “pantry fund” — where everyone would contribute 10 bucks monthly to buy some necessity for our department office users. Necessities like biscuits, 3in1 beverages and junk food. The necessities will then shared in a common cubicle — whenever one’s hungry or dying of dehydration — there’s a sactuary place for you to grab some biscuit and a cup of hot chocolate. It’s a good thing.

But then, there are some assholes from other department that would sneak up and steal our biscuits.. So frequent that there weren’t enough of them to even feed the comittee members. That’s when I decided to stop paying money to the fund - coz it’s freaking unfair to us taxpayers. Moreover, I only hoovered average 3 - 4 pcs of biscuits in a week — and they don’t worth 10 bucks from my pocket. And I stopped my payment to the fund for approximately 4 months … without trace. Until today.

Today, I hijacked some biscuits from that cube and was spotted by Kim & Fake (the 2 young girls from my department designated to safeguard those biscuits). I bailed the place immediately hoping that I could avert any bloody confrontation. But I was wrong. They caught on with me.

Not long after I have wolfed down those biscuits, Kim & Fake came tramping into my cube. They advertently blocked the entrance to my cube so that I won’t be able to escape.

Kim : “Michael… pay up please.”

Fake : “40 bucks ..mind you. And you dare to take the biscuits”

Me : “I’m not gonna pay up. I only took 4 freaking biscuits for god’s sake.”

Fake : “Pay up or we’ll beat you up”

Me : “Look, there’s no need to resort to violence, kay ? I’m paying only 10 bucks… that’s it” [whips out 10 bucks]

Kim : [snatches the 10 bucks] “You’ll still need to pay the balance… or else, you’ll know the consequences”

Me : “Hey .. if you want money, collect from those scoundrels that stole our biscuits, kay ?”

Fake : “That’s not our problem. You just need to pay up .. ”

And the 2 mafia-like girls ambled away counting their money while biting a cuban cigar at the corner of their mouths. I was mugged 10 bucks for eating 3 pieces of biscuits. What would have happened if I hijacked the whole container of biscuits ? I would have probably been brutally raped… mutilated and canniballized by these 2 hellbitches …. no shit.

It’s a dangerous place out there I tell you.