March 22, 2004

the deceivers

I watched some Chinese drama on TV with Emily when my notebook broke down. Never fancied watching Chinese drama but then, that was the only thing left for me to do at that time.

Anyway, in the Chinese drama, in one particular scene, there was this girl (the heroine, obviously) who suddenly turned into a dropdead beautiful looking chick during a ballroom function — a deviation from her usual catastrophic appearance. The secret? A score of makeup, hairdo and an expensive dress. The moment I saw the scene, I gave out a smirk.

That was sort of like the moment of truth for me. That scene in the drama was true in every sense — a few artificial ‘modifications’ and touch ups, could change a great deal on one’s appearance. I have seen such occurrences in real life before. It’s all real.

A good example would be annual dinners. I am not sure about other company, but in mine, most of the girls would usually go all out during the dinner. They would do anything to look good on that night. Never mind the expenses. They will put inches of thick make up that could shame a Japanese geisha. They will wear expensive dresses that cost probably more than their basic salary. They would go to the extend to tailor-make their dresses just to be seen in something different. The standard rule of thumb… was to expose as much cleavage as possible. Long term investment – they always say. And that freaking dress would be worn for only ONCE. Cannot be seen wearing it twice or else they will be cursed with terminal stage herpes on their tushy. And if they own any jeweleries at all — this would also be the night for them to flaunt them all out. They will pick the biggest and most sparkling motherfucking of all jeweleries.

And what is beauty without an exquisite hairstyle? Right, they will spend a few hundred bucks for a customized hairstyle for the dinner… and they always come in various weird shapes that was copied from top fashion magazines. Some would look so weird that they resembled those zinc awnings – extending out of their head like that. And their hairdo’s are always laden with a few hundred gallons of hairsprays and unknown chemicals, that could trap insects (in some rare occasions, even small flying mammals – e.g. bats, flying foxes)

Then come to shoes. High heel is the standard. 4 inches, 5 inches and for some ballet dancers, they would even wear 6 – 7 inches — almost making them a whole length of head taller than any puzzled blokes. Guys have to look up (suffering neck problems) in order to talk to them – as if they’re walking on stilts. That explains why the guys always prefer to look at their boobs rather than looking up at their faces to talk with them. And yet, the guys are always mistaken as perverts that ogle at boobies… when they are actually trying not to hurt themselves

Alright, my point is — reiterated — the world is full of deception (if you’re not already aware). If you want to find yourself a girlfriend or a life partner, avoid ballroom functions or annual dinners at all cost. Those pretty ladies in the ballrooms are nothing more than a walking mammal full of expensive chemicals on a wig… and stilts.

Trust me. Hold back your adrenaline and testosterone. Prevention is better than cure (unless you’re gay).

michaelooi  | thoughts  | 

The commenting function has been disabled.