March 17, 2004

porn on tv

I was flipping through the various channels on TV the other day, when I caught something ‘interesting’ on StarWorld channel. It was Baywatch Hawaii. You see… I never really fancied watching Baywatch. Never my cup of tea.

But I stopped that day because something pique my attention in that Baywatch show – a good looking babe with fake boobs with her rock hard nipples embossed on her non-padded super thin swimming suit. And that hot hootchiemama was suppose to be a lifeguard.

Now, isn’t that just ridiculous? Think about it. All the female lifeguards in Baywatch are good looking and gorgeous. If that were to be real in an actual world, then there will be chaos on all public beaches. Why? Because these bimbos are going to attract pervs from all over, and these pervs are most definitely going to feign an emergency in the water. Get my drift? Like, I’m going to yell ‘help’, flail my arms a little and voila… I’m suddenly surrounded by boobs. The score could be many folds better than picking up a chick in a bar. And if that were to really continue, it will not be long before all the bimbos had to be fired because of the drastic change in the sea PH level (perverts wanking off in the water, killing the whales and shit)

And also, if it’s not already obvious to you, all the female-lifeguards in Baywatch also have big boobs (fake boobs are always big). Lifeguards need to be fast. Their big boobs will cause a high coefficient drag and are therefore, less aerodynamic. This would in turn, hinder their speed and precious seconds will be wasted in saving an actual victim in trouble.

A fast lifeguard should be one who can swim fast and aerodynamic i.e. thin and flat chested. Not a chick with fake boobs. Chicks with fake boobs aren’t suitable to be lifeguards. Having said that, real lifeguards should be comprised of only ugly people. Someone that probably looks like Joe Pesci crossed with a wild hog. Yeah. Knowing that the lifeguard could petrify even the meanest shark in the ocean, no one would dare to get themselves in trouble (in the sea)… or at least be that extra careful not to pique the attention of the lifeguard (for they would rather die than being resuscitate by that disastrous looking lifeguard).

Conclusion? Baywatch is a scam. People tune into Baywatch to watch boobies and cameltoes. It’s not really about saving lives and that sort of shit. It’s just a cleverly disguised porn show on TV, trying to promote the new pornstar wannabes.

Sick of it, I switched to another channel to watch some really wild animal killing its prey. At least I know they’re for real.

michaelooi  | what I saw  | 

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