March 9, 2004

an encounter under the office desk

This incident occurred a couple of years ago when I was working late inside the office. It was all quiet late that night when I suddenly heard a blood curdling yelp from a few cubes away. Needless to say, the loud cry almost jolted the daylights out of me.

I stood up to check what was going on (along with a couple of other colleagues nearby). It was my department head (the big boss – the director). He was hopping inside his cubicle as if he was being possessed by a hyperactive demon or something… all the while pointing under his desk – screaming like there’s no tomorrow. “Aaaaaaaaaaahhhh!! Aaaaaahhh!! Aaaaaaaaahh!!” (to those dirty minded readers – this is not to be mistaken with a porno moan.)

I asked him “What the fuck !?” (alright, I just asked him “What’s wrong?”)
“I saw a big rat under my desk! It was trying to climb up my leg!!!” he was telling me in his out-of-breath tone while gesturing the approximate size of that giant rat with his hands. It was about the size of ex-my neighbor’s psychotic dog’s lipstick lookalike dick.

Big fucking deal – I thought. Why would a rat climb up his leg? The rat wanted to suck his cream? Never heard of rats fellating a human before. My best bet was, the rat’s probably scouring for food and because the boss remained static for too long, the stinking rodent might have mistaken his leg as somekind of tree trunk growing out from the office floor. (which is still less ridiculous than the fellatio theory).

I was suppressing myself hard from laughing at that moment and responded – “Alright, let me kick his ass for you. Make sure I get my promotion.” But when I was there, the rat was already gone.. most probably fled in fear of the boss’ sudden hysteria. That guy was panting real hard with a livid look on him… even after we assured him that the stinking rodent had already left his cube.

Within the next 24 hours, the news about the boss’ monster rat encounter was widespread across our department like a wildfire– and much to the amusement to many, every single one of my colleagues now started to snigger at the boss whenever he’s in vicinity – thanks to yours truly.

It’s just not right for a guy to be so terrified of rats or mouse. They just aren’t worthy to be scared of. They’re just small mammals no bigger than our dick.

…Well, unless he has a really small dick…

michaelooi  | flashbacks  | 

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