February 27, 2004

kotex the pigeon girl

As we all know, men are always fascinated with women’s body. For girls – having a great looking set of hardware and a perfect body shape means, having high self esteem and towering confidence. It gives them the much coveted attention… social status… and unlimited advantages that money can’t buy. You get the idea.

But not all girls are that fortunate to be blessed with such perfection. Kotex is one of them. Who is Kotex? Kotex is a young girl who works in my company which I’m going to tell you about. You see, if this Kotex girl were to stand straight and lean against a broom closet, no one would be able to differentiate her from a broomstick. She’s basically like a barren land with no water. She has a body with no fun parts to play with at all. Airport. Flat rear. But then, she does have an ok face… so, it kind of balance out the odds.

But Kotex doesn’t want to be just another girl next door. She wants people to think her as a hot entity. To be airport and nearly devoid of a functional ass (errmmm, an ass’ for groping, right?), is something that she cannot live with. So, she worked out a solution herself. She changed her posture, in a way she thought that will create an illusion to unsuspecting guys that she is well endowed – by deliberately stick out her chest to the front, and pull her derriere to the far back (an ‘S’ shape, if you can imagine)

So, whenever there are guys in proximity, this Kotex girl will assume that ‘S’ posture, and would plod around like she’s doing a catwalk. It was both hilarious and disgusting at the same time. Her posture was so downright ridiculous, that it reminded me of an advice given to me by my physiotherapist – wrong posture could lead to many kinds of health problems… like back ache, arthritis, osteoporosis, bronchitis, halitosis, tuberculosis, syphilis…. just.. anything that ends with -is.

And because she had to stick out her chest so far in front, she’ll actually need to walk faster to counter the forward tilt, and to maintain that balance, she will also need to bob her head (like a pigeon) *The science behind why pigeons bob their head while walking — their leg and posterior was situated too far behind from the head, that they actually have to bob their head to maintain the balance

But she do not walk like that. She would just tilt forward and walk faster. She’s like, risking her health for the sake of having that artificial look. Gosh. All these for the attention of the opposite sex. She could have chosen to streak across the office, it would have had the same effect… minus the health hazard. Or perhaps, she could use some rubber buffer inside her bra… or a few boxes of Kleenex as the cheaper alternative…

Such is the mentality of women nowadays. *shakes head.*

michaelooi  | characters  | 

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