February 15, 2004

my valentines day dinner

Every year, in order not to submit ourselves to excessive throat slitting and spending, Emily and I always avoid the idea of having a romantic dinner during Valentines Day. Dinners on Valentines Day are always more expensive than usual… and usually, the dinner would take too long to be served (due to the crowd). That’s not our idea of being romantic.

That’s why we always go to places where most kiddies roam – McDonalds, KFC or Pizza Hut. It has always been like that. For the past few years, Emily and I have been celebrating our Valentines Day at Pizza Hut. It may be too tacky for your taste, but hell, it’s cheap and my company’s not any less enjoyable than yours.

But then, this year, I figured out that we needed to go somewhere else… you know… for a change. So, we chose to go US Pizza this time. This year, we had some company – Henry and Amber.

After jamming ourselves for approximately 30 over minutes through the menacing traffic, we finally made it to US Pizza – the biggest joint in Penang. There was barely anyone there when we reached (because everyone’s flocking to expensive restaurants). Feeling hungry already, Henry and I took charge of the ordering, and we ordered 1 large and 1 regular pizza – which we reckoned should be just fine to feed the 4 of us.

Waited for about 15 minutes, a waiter came with 2 regular sized pizzas. Obviously it was a mistake. So, I flagged the guy over and told him that we actually ordered 1 large and 1 regular. He waiter nonchalantly took back one of the pizzas and left the other on our table, and went ahead to process our large pizza. While we were waiting, the 4 of us feasted on the regular pizza on our table and waited somemore.

About another 15 minutes later, the waiter delivered our large pizza. This time, the guy gave us the wrong flavor. Not wanting to wait for another 15 minutes, we decided to accept the pizza (with the incorrect flavor) anyway, and be done with it. While we were eating, I actually made a feedback to the particular waiter about the spate of mistakes he did that night, you know, in good faith just so that he gets the chance to improve himself or something like that.

And then I went on to work my pizza. About a good 10 minutes later, when we were almost finished with our dinner, one of the waiters (different waiter) served ANOTHER LARGE PIZZA to our table. I realized it was the flavor we ordered. That was when I started to get really irated.

“Hey dude! What is this all about? Didn’t we already get all the pizzas??” I asked the guy.

“Sir, the waiter there said you received the incorrect flavor for the pizza, so this is the correct one you ordered.”
“Noooo! I was giving that guy a feedback. We don’t you to change anymore. Besides, the one you’re serving here is not the correct flavor as well.”

The guy was basically dumbfucked and went to have a short discussion with his manager, and later came back to us:

“It’s alright sir. We’re giving you this pizza free as an apology.”

Since it was free, we took the pizza anyway… but not without giving those bunch of idiots a look of contempt. And so, we continued to whack another large our pizza… but unable to finish it, and had it wrapped up. We thought everything was over then, and were preparing to leave… when the first waiter (the one who initially served us) came to our table with ANOTHER REGULAR PIZZA!

“What the fuck!?!?!?” I exclaimed loudly, which attracted some attention from another couple who just came.
“Your pizza sir?”
“Our pizza!? They’re now all inside our stomach!! We’re about to leave!!”
“Err… I thought you said you got your pizza wrong? This is the replacement…”

It was unbelievable. I covered my face with my hands, stunned in disbelief. All the 4 of us were speechless. Even the 4th pizza, a.k.a the 3rd replacement, was wrong. We ordered large, remember? This was regular. The group of fucktards inside that restaurant that night … is the worst of the worst kind. No shit. I had enough of their pizzas and decided to bail the fuck off…

“Just keep the goddamn pizza dude. We don’t want any of your pizzas anymore.”
“But …. it’s yours”
“Give it to the couple there. Just anyone but us.”
“But… but…”

Before the waiter could finish stammering, along came the supposedly manager (who wore an apron and looked as if he had just graduated from a nursery home). He suggested that we take the pizza as ANOTHER COURTESY from them, and we can wrap them all up as a take away. It was unbelievable. I then questioned their integrity of being in a restaurant business… how are they going to survive with such poor management and communication skills? As if that’s not the end of it, they also under-billed our table. They somehow did not include the drinks we ordered that night — and for that, we did not complain.

There were 3 groups of customers who got their ordered mixed up… and all of them had to yell at the waiters in a supposedly romantic night. Apparently, some of them did not get their orders at all, probably that explains why were we getting so many pizzas delivered to our table… I reckoned that if I kept telling them that I got the wrong pizza, they’d keep delivering pizzas to me without charge…. and from there, I’ll be able to start my own pizza business – selling it at half price to the rest of the patrons that did not get their pizzas.

Today, I’ll be having my breakfast, lunch and possibly my dinner eating that 1.5 boxes of takeaway pizzas… courtesy of the most fucked up restaurant in Penang (possibly the whole world). What a Valentines Day I had…

michaelooi  | experiences  | 

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