Free gift… the ultimate bait to get more customers. That’s what I got when I bought 4 movie tickets on Friday. Free gifts. Nice isn’t it? But no. Instead of feeling nice, the gift that I got that night got me confused instead. Instead of getting conventional stuff like a pen or perhaps a food voucher… I was given 2 bars of soap. Soap! Sabun!
Now, who in his right mind would think of giving out bars of soap as free gifts in a cinema? And to make matter worse, the soap also smelled weird. It smelled like some canned fruit cocktail… or something like that. I took a careful look at the soap wrapper, and saw a very disturbing picture of a fruit. “Rambutan! Oh my god!” Emily exclaimed hysterically. But no, it wasn’t rambutan on the wrapper. It was LYCHEE! A lychee scented soap! (if you don’t know what a lychee is ..nevermind)
Why the fucking hell would anyone create a LYCHEE SCENTED soap!? I mean, aren’t soaps suppose to smell nice?? so that when we finished cleaning our body with it, we wouldn’t reek of our own sweat and perspiration? Now imagine that someone were to wash him/herself with a lychee scented soap and his/her friends would compliment “Oooh… you smelled like a… lychee”? Add a ‘bye’ behind the word if you like. Ridiculous… isn’t it?
Damn, it’s really a bad thing some stupid people tries to be innovative. I wonder what next, a belacan scented soap? langsat scented soap? Why can’t they just stick to the conventional nice flowery scents? What is wrong with these people?
And also, I noticed that we almost have everything with ‘menthol’. People seems to like it a lot. Well, I like it too… but only on certain products like toothpaste or maybe our good old hair shampoo… But not just anything, you get what I mean?
Like this body shampoo I was using. It happened when I was scrubbing myself with that bottle of free gift body shampoo as usual in the shower… and then I had the sudden urge to take a shit. I spent a good 1 minute over on the toilet bowl with suds still all over my body… crapping my intestines out. But little did I realize that the body shampoo has menthol in it, and before I could even finish crapping, I started to experience this uncomfortably cool sensation all over my balls, and when it spread to my bunghole, I had to cut the crapping business short and started to rinse off the suds before my balls freeze over. Not a very pleasant experience, I’d say.
So, basically, everyone has to accept the fact, that sooner in the future, everything will be mentholated and shit. We’re probably also going to have menthol on condoms, doctor’s anal examination gloves or even your broadband modem… just anything that you can imagine. And they probably will smell of lychee as well. That was when innovation goes wrong.