the envelope
My mobile phone suddenly rang. I saw a very familiar number I once knew. It was the number that once made my stomach go antigravity. Yes… it was that familiar number that I used to hope of seeing on my mobile phone screen. But that was many years ago.
“yeah.”
“is that u mike ?”
“u are calling my number. who else could it be?”
“u sounded different”
“ooh… yeah… i’m having a throat infection. don’t worry about it.”
“can i come over to your place ?”
It was a very cold and piercing question. Why would she want to come over to my place? She left me many years ago and now wants to come back? Who does she think I am? A bus station? Come and leave just like that? That’s my dignity in question here.
“why would you want to come over after all those means things u’ve done to me?”
“i wanted to give… something to you…”
“and what the fuck is it?”
“look… can I just come over?”
“u did not answer me..”
“YOU’LL KNOW IT WHEN I’M OVER AT YOUR PLACE… GODDAMN IT!”
“alright… alright… come over.”
A thousand and one questions began to dance inside my addled mind. What is that thing that she wanted to so urgently pass to me? Has this got anything to do with the rumors that has been circulating around my ring of buddies?
Oh… I suddenly felt so bleak, that I had the sudden urge to take a dump. Without much procrastination, I went to the nearest toilet to blast my intestine out. When I returned, she was already there. Standing beside my office table holding a very shiny and sparkling envelope.
“Shit”, I thought.
“hi mike. it’s been a while since we met”
“ok… now what brings you here ?”
“here… **passes me the envelope**… I’m getting married.”
“…”
“so, will come to my wedding?”
“who’s the bastard?”
“cmon mike… get over it already! it has been so many years, and you’re still like this!”
“don’t make me ask again… WHO IS THAT BASTARD??”
“U know .. u could have just opened the fucking card and find out yourself instead of yelling…”
“alright! I’m gonna open the fucking envelope now!”
I peeled the envelope with rage, and opened the card. The smell of cheap perfume wafted into my nostrils, and I’ve got tears welled up in both my eyes. Not because of the cheap perfume but, it was because of the name I dreaded of seeing - my best buddy,PuffDaddy. So the rumors were true about both of them.
“you contemptible whore! I hope you get plenty of syphilis marrying PuffDaddy!!”
And I converted all my anger into an utterly might of uppercut under her jaw - shattering some of her teeth. Her set of teeth now looks like a gearbox groove. Then, when she was writhing in agony on the floor, I grabbed her by the hair and gave her a pile drive from my office table - which caused her hair to lose its integrity and messed up beyond recognition. She then did the Joe Pesci “alright stop stop” maneuver to save herself from more beatings…
“alright… stop… stop… mike… stop. U can wallop me all u want but, pls do not mess my hair next time… ok? I had it done for the wedding, alright?”
“you grotesque piece of shit! why has it got to be him!? why!? why!?”
“I… don’t know. It just comes with the feeling I guess”
She told me this while squinting her eyes to look for her missing teeth on the office floor. I suddenly felt sorry for her and my anger began to subside…
“I guess I’ll have to get my teeth done again. So, are you coming to my wedding or what?”
“Ok… I’ll try to make it if I don’t get too much hangover from my Chinese New Year party.”
She then left the office. And that could be the last time I see her… unless I plan to attend her wedding dinner.
The End.
*don’t worry… this story is fictional. Just stretching my imagination as I’ve got nothing to do in the office..*