neighbours - satan’s relatives

I was awakened by a violent knock on my front door this morning. Still suffering hangover from the drinking binge the night before, I lazily schlepped over to answer the knock. It was an indian lady … I can recognize her fucking face — she’s the bitch who lives 2 floors beneath my apartment.

Me : “Yeah ?”

Bitch : “Eh … itu kereta nomber XXX kamu punya ?”
[is that car numbered XXX yours ?]

Me : “Oh yeah .. that’s my mom’s car. What’s wrong ?”

Bitch : “Boleh adjust lu mia kereta ka ? Itu tempat untuk orang cuci kereta .. dan kereta saya tak boleh masuk”
[can you adjust your car ? That's a carwash lot and her car is blocking mine.]

Apparently, my mom parked her car in the carwash lot and she had gone out with my aunt. But I didn’t have her keys with me. And that indian neighbour wanted to wash her car, pronto - desperately.

That indian lady was obviously pissed and sounded very rude. Actually, I’m pissed too - coz I am deprived of sleep lately, and I planned not to wake until at least 2pm today.
Anyway, I apologized as I do not want to be “the unfriendly guy in the neighbourhood”. Besides … housewives are too dangerous to be offended.

Me : “Oh ..I’m so sorry about that. But my mom’s not in and I’m afraid I do not have the key. Anyway, I’ll try my best to call her up and get her to come back to adjust her car a.s.a.p.”

Bitch : “Ok”

And she left. I managed to contact my mom, and gave my own mom a good scolding. And she told me that she’ll be on her way home right away. Good! I went back to resume my sleep. 5 minutes later, the bitch fucking honked her car. I went out to check out what the fuck was the commotion all about.

Me : [pissed] “What do you want ?”

Bitch : “Eh … lu tak mau adjust lu mia kereta ke ?”
[Eh ... are u adjusting your car or what ?]

Me : [fucking pissed] “Like I said, I do not have the keys. You’ll have to hold back your oh-so-important car wash activity until my mom comes back. Ok ?”

Bitch : “Orang nak cuci kereta .. tiap kali kena naik rumah kamu untuk cakap. Susah macam ni.”
[Everytime I want to wash my car, I'll have to come up to your place to remind you adjusting your car. It's very difficult like this.]

Me : [super fucking pissed] “Go fuck yourself”

But I think she did not hear my cuss. What I could not understand was, why couldn’t she just fucking wait? I already told her I do not have the fucking key to my mom’s car. As if washing her car is some kind of national duty that is so important … that if she doesn’t do it on time, the country would be at war or something.

All I can do at that moment is to apologize and nothing more than that. What else does she want ? Fucking burn my mom’s car so that she can wash her car at that lot ? Not that her car is an expensive car or what. It’s just a more than 10 years old Proton. And she fucking washes her car a few times a week … what kind of sadistic creature would wash it’s car a few times a week ? (I only washes mine a few times A YEAR. And my car is much more expensive than hers …) Only an uneducated cretin like her would do that.

Even more unbelievable, that fucking tramp always washes her car on early Sunday morning. Who in their right mind would wake up early Sunday morning to wash their piece of junk ? Why not in the afternoon ? How bout evening ? Why has it got to be early Sunday morning when some people are enjoying their once a week good sleep ? Only a mongoloid whore like her would do all that.

I hope this would be the last time for her to piss me off. Else I would wreck her fucking car up so that she don’t have to wash it ever again in the future.