January 17, 2004

eric the disturbed : road hogging

Yesterday, Eric drove the gang out for lunch. He was doing only 30 – 40kph on the freeway, no cars in front. Needless to say, the number of cars getting hogged behind him started to grow in number, and I started to feel under pressure as I used to hoot road hoggers like Eric. I had to suppress myself from confronting Eric or say anything at all… I just pressed my palms together and closed my eyes… you know, controlled breathing and stuff, just so that I don’t get into the mad mode.

I did that until I reached my ‘Q’ point, where my thoughts became disoriented and felt really sorry for myself… then let it out – I yelled at Eric.

Me : “For fuck’s sake, Eric, drive faster… you’re hogging the goddamn road man…”

Eric did not answer me nor speed his car up as he should. I was like talking to a dead pig. Obviously, he was doing some thinking there, and I know, whenever he does that, he will slow the fuck down. Like he has only a finite resource to do one thing at a time… and if he’s thinking, the car will have to slow down. I commented further to BigSnake, who was sitting at the backseat together with Blackie:

Me : “Dude… how long do you think it will take to reach KL, if we were to appoint Eric as the driver? 8 hours?”

BigSnake : “Hard to say man… that’s a very difficult question. But for sure, it would be a bad idea to let him drive…”

Eric then quipped…

Eric : “It will take me 9 hours… heheheh”

BigSnake : “Hey… just concentrate on your driving lah! Can’t you just step on your accelerator harder? You’re driving way too fucking slow…”

Eric : “Relax man… my speed’s alright”

Blackie then intervened,

Blackie : “Yeah I agree… I think Eric’s driving at a very reasonable speed”

I was pissed at that statement

Me : “What the fuck?? 40kph on the freeway is reasonable?? You’re way beyond ridiculous, moron. He’s hogging the goddamn road!!”

BigSnake was on my side,

BigSnake : “Now I know why are there so many traffic jams… it’s because we have so many retards like both of you around…”

That was about the time BigSnake and I realized that half of our lunch members here are lame drivers. Hogging the road/freeway was only part of their life, and there are many more.

I wish to state this very clearly – we only take our lunch with these people… them and their fucked up driving has nothing to do with us, or me. Period.

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