December 18, 2003

eric the disturbed – the cendol stall incident

Weather: fine and windy.

After our lunch today, we went to our usual place for cendol. Then came a scrawny girl (who looks like one of the dehydrated carcass in Nat Geo’s “Mummy Road Show”) in her office uniform – who then stood by the side of the cendol stall waiting for the cendol peddler to pack her takeaway orders. She had this peevish look on her face, as if she had just lost her underwear in a bet.

As usual, I began to give a quick review on her. I told the guys “That girl is a party goer. Look at the piercings on her ear”. Eric was checking her out as I was reporting my observation, “See her eyes? They have dark rims, lack of sleep. Her legs are a bit muscular, dance too much. A confirmed regular clubber.”

“Yeah … her legs are muscular. Too big.” Apparently, Eric spoke too loud to pique the girl’s attention, which she reacted by giving us this disdainful look. We could tell that she’s already having a bad enough day, only to be made worse by our group.

Anyway, then along came this guy named Guan. Guan’s from our workplace and he’s also Eric’s employee. Guan dropped by the cendol stall and he was standing beside the sourpuss girl. Guan saw us from the stall and greeted us “What’s up guys? Enjoying your cendol?”.

Eric then cheekily replied him loudly “Yeah. Dog milk cendol. You know how they make the cendol? They milk the dog [pointing at a stray dog] and mix it with coconut milk. That’s why the taste is different”. He was of course bullshitting, but it made us laugh very hard.

Sourpuss girl of course heard the whole exchange and apparently, she didn’t take it very well. She should be laughing but instead, she looked horrified. It was as if she believed every word Eric said and yet, she’s trying to hold back at those terrible thoughts of having animal parts in the cendol. Eric on the other hand, was slurping his cendol away happily while grinning wryly at Guan.

We left the place before the sourpuss girl did. But Guan was still waiting for his takeaway beside the girl. When Blackie strolled his car past the stall, I jokingly dared Eric to wind down the window to tease Guan. And Eric did it.

Eric wound down the window and shouted at the top of his lungs “Guan! We know you are pretending there! Why wait man? Just tackle her lahhh! Ahhahahahah !”. The girl looked even funnier when she heard Eric. It was that deer-in-the-spotlight kind of look, you know, totally dumbfucked. We’re laughing so hard that Blackie almost swerved his car into the opposite traffic.

Who would have thought that a man at Eric’s age (mid 40’s) who is also a top executive in a multinational company could behave like a complete schmuck? Not at all man.

michaelooi  | happenings  | 

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