December 7, 2003

CrazyGuy

*update 03 DEC 04 – lost the original photo… i found a temporary substitute.

Meet CrazyGuy. He’s my pet dog inside my car. He’s been inside my car for 4 years and is still single. His hobbies are watching cars and collecting stamps, although he still have not manage to get himself any collection to date.

CrazyGuy is a good pet and I love him. Why? It is because he needs no food and he doesn’t shit everywhere like any other dogs. I don’t have to take him out for a walk nor do I have to worry about him humping any female dogs he sees. He just knows how to behave and be an obedient best friend like he aptly should. A perfect pet for me.

Another wonderful thing about CrazyGuy is, he’s such a hottie. Chicks and kids that go up my car just love him. They will kiss and cuddle him like he’s their own dog or something. And he doesn’t have fleas or bad odor… But he does have lots of drools, lipstick marks, dandruff and hairs stuck on its yellow colored fur. Well, not that I mind that – because cleaning him up is as easy as picking my own nose. I’ll just need to groom him up with my portable vacuum cleaner and spray him with Febreze.

Let me also tell you a secret – those tiny sensitive receptors on his nose? Those things are awesome. Whenever there are girls around to cuddle him hard, he will telepathically transmit the bliss to me … and I will share with my magical pet the warmth and comfort from that cuddle. He’s such an altruistic pet.

But then, due to his inherently cute outlook, it is sometimes hard for me to control my guests from over-cuddle him. As he is especially sensitive to certain type of people (blimps, odorous individuals, hideous looking witches or someone shit fucking bad hygiene), he would sometimes send out SOS signals calling for help. When that happens, I will turn over from my driver seat and issue a warning like this – “Hey… put down my dog before I kick you out of my car… you cheebye”. We co-exist together in a symbiosis relationship – we’re both an essential part of a balanced ecosystem inside my car.

Ok, that’s all about my dog – CrazyGuy. If you feel that you need to ask some questions about him, feel free to contact me through my email.

michaelooi  | nonsense  | 

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