November 30, 2003

online gaming experience

*Disclaimer: Reader discretion is advised for the blog entry below. Consult your parents or your local magistrate if you are below 18

A friend asked me if I have ever played an ‘online game’ – and I told him ‘yeah’. The original ‘Diablo’.

If you can remember ‘Diablo’. I was a game that took the PC gaming world by storm and started the no brainer walk-and-slash frenzy over the course of few years. It was wildly popular and was, I believe, the game that first introduces free online gaming on its Battlenet servers. God knows how many hours I wasted loitering around the virtual dungeons in Battlenet, which could have been used to do something more useful, like live a life or something.

But there was one particular incident which still lives fresh in my memory till this day. It was a game of ‘Diablo’ with a couple of German chicks. I don’t quite remember how I stumbled into them but, I remember the game name they created – it was called ‘BitchSlut’.

Initially, it was just another usual game for me, you know, me minding my own business looking for monsters to kill. The German chicks were nowhere to be seen yet, but I could read the chat transcript between the girls while they were playing. I didn’t join in their chat because the topics weren’t exactly my kind of interest, but I still get to read whatever they were typing there.

It stayed that way for about the first 10 minutes, when the topic began to get saucy amongst them. The girls started to talk about their bust measurement. That distracted me for awhile… almost got my ass whooped by a lurking monster. I don’t quite remember how did they exactly discuss about their tits but, I remember myself remarking to them in the chat box – “Hey hey… there’s a guy in here. You might want to take your girly discussions offline.”

Instead of apologizing, one of them brazened out to me – “So what if you’re a guy? Not matured enough to take it?”.

It was a direct hit at my man ego. I mean, I was just trying to be nice and all. So, I decided to park my debonair personality aside, and join in their discussion. I went on to ask them – “why do you girls measure your titties in centimeters?” (as opposed to inches or cup sizes).

One of the girls answered – “it is common in Germany to measure them in centimeters” (I am not sure if they are shitting me).

Me – “the people here uses inches and cup sizes. inches for your entire chest include your back, and cup sizes for solely your tits. we don’t generally use centimeters”.

My explanation drew a few oohs and ahhs from the 2 German girls… which I have to admit, kinda weird since they should have known this better than me. (or they’re probably fucking with me.)

Seeing that these girls are actually listening, I took the subject further. I attempted to introduce them a new way to measure the size of their boobies. – “In my country, there is a more popular alternate way to measure busts. We measure them with hands. How many hands does it take to hold up one tit. If it’s big, it might require more than 1 hands to hold it up. If it’s small, it will easily take less than 1 hand. So, the measurement goes like 1/2 hand, 1 hand, 2 hands (big) or even 3 hands (humongous). It’s much easier to imagine with hands comparing to cm or inches. And you don’t need a measuring tape or tool to do it.”

As I was about to quip even more made-up facts to them, I was kicked out from the game. Without knowing why. I thought we were all having an enjoyable view-exchange session but, those girls can never maintain an open mind to complete it. Fucking German girls.

But that did not bother me a bit. I joined another game and continued to have my own fun whacking monsters/undeads. ‘Diablo’ was the only game I ever played online.

michaelooi  | experiences  | 

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