November 27, 2003


Damn pigdogs. You know pigdogs? In English… they are known as rustic bumpkins or hillbillies. In chinese, they are sometimes also known as ‘ah bengs‘.

Typical Asian pigdogs are often sported with blond hair (dyed), a mobile phone that has more lights than a casino and a face only their mother could love. And for those pigdogs who can afford a car, they can be easily recognized with a muffler big enough to fit the girth of an adult bolster.

I met one pigdog just now, when I was returning home from dinner. I was stopping for a red light at a 1-lane turn junction. Then came this pigdog, shoving his car from the side. That really ticked me off. Like, why can’t he just queue up for the red light just like everyone else?

His stupid car has got this big fucking muffler and I could hear like it was right next to my ear even thought I had all my windows rolled up tight. It was annoying.

When the light turns green, I quickly floored my accelerator & charged the fucker to the corner, which forced him to pull behind my car. I then deliberately drove like negative 50 kph, slow enough to aggravate his volatile miniscule mind, which he predictably responded with a honk. I then allowed him some space to overtake me but he wasn’t skillful enough to pull that maneuver. Instead, he chose to tailgate me like, real close. Must be half a foot or something.

A little while later, when the street clears wider, he finally managed to muster enough guts to overtake my car, but not for long – for I did a shortcut and was back in front of him. I then pulled another slow stunt, I did even slower in front of him this time. He started to get really pissed off I could tell, because he was frantically honking non-stop and tailgated my car even closer.

Then, I pulled the final shocker. I stepped on my brakes real hard, almost at the verge of stopping. That actually caught pigdog by surprise and he hadn’t got enough time to react. That was when he swung his wheels to the opposite side of the road, almost hitting the pavement. I stopped my car entirely with my hands ready to grab my steering lock (to swing at his car in case he decided to come out for an altercation).

But luckily he didn’t. Instead, he fled the scene like he knew that he’s in for a rough time if he was to come out from his stupid car. And while I was gazing triumphantly at that fleeing shit ugly car, I was astonished to spot a little ‘P’ sticker on his rear screen. That explained the spasticity. What a moron.

*to non-malaysian readers, a ‘P’ sticker on a car in Malaysia means that the driver is still in the probational period of a learner’s license and is required to exhibit that ‘P’ sticker on their car screen for at least 2 years… before he was to be granted a real driving license. Ergo, if you see a car with a ‘P’ sticker around, get the fuck out of there…

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