durian - the ultimate fruit

I hereby proclaim durian to be the national fruit of Malaysia. Durians not only taste good, but they’re known to be nutritious and all-purpose useful as well. If you are not aware about the facts already, please peruse the following list to enhance your general knowledge…

- They contain a lot of anti-oxidants, fibers and protein. Scientific studies revealed that durian actually can prevent herpes and also is a good agent for body cleansing (shits inside brain, cellulite, etc). Long term consumption can prolong life expectancy and also reduce the risk of dick cancer (for female = beaver cancer).

- Its expired stale smell can be used as an effective weapon to rid of insects, perverts, ugly hags, vagabonds and vermin alike (see example below).

Situation (being mugged) :
Mugger : Alright dude … this is a stickup. Give me your wallet and don’t do anything stupid. I have a gun here…

Dude that with durian breath: Hahah … you made a boo boo mugger. Eat shit and die!! [BURRRRRRPPPP]

Mugger: Arrrggghhhhh !!! … [knocked out cold from the stale durian burp gas]

- Fart gas from consumption of durians can be used as a new source of methane-based burning fuel — which in turn, can be used to replace our already depleting fossil fuel. (thus, more environmentally friendly)

- Thorny shells from durians can be used as an effective self defense weapon and also a cheap solution for American cops as a replacement for spike strips.

The list goes on…

The most wonderful thing about durian is… THEY TASTE VERY GOOD WITH CENDOL! If you haven’t tried it before, just put a dollop of durian flesh into your cendol and add a little pulut (sticky rice) - you will discover the truth of life.