Rob’s last day

Weather - hazy.

Not sure why the weather was so hazy this morning. So bad that I can hardly see beyond 500 meters. Was it due to the massive burning at Indonesia again? Or could some kind of special effect of some spaceships that are going to land on Earth? I don’t know, and I don’t really care either. I only know and cared about one thing today — it was Rob’s last day!

Omg. I have waited for this for so long. That festering undead boss of mine is finally leaving us for good! I will be celebrating this tonight with a grand dinner. Well, the dinner’s not really organized in conjunction of Rob’s departure but… I’d be happy to celebrate for that reason. A celebration of freedom.

So what makes me hate my boss so much? Many reasons, people. I’ll try to summarize them up into a few vital points for you people to understand…

The Look
- He’s an emaciated shit. God he’s so fucking thin that I could break his arms with my bare hands. And yet, he would boast about having a black belt in karate, and being the fittest. Black belt my foot.

- He’s fucking ugly. If it isn’t for the limbs to hint us that he is actually human, one might easily mistaken him for some kind of overgrown mutated parasite that has crept out of a very sick buffalo’s anus. He once tried to pick up our admin girl, asking her out for a date or something… The girl bluntly cut him off and said “You don’t even qualify the smallest fraction of my lowest acceptable requirements”. Like my friend Alvin quoted : “He is a person that only his own biological mother will love.” An eyesore to the public. An organic mistake. A total disaster.

The Brain
- He has an IQ less than 50. Anything less than that, he will not be able to tell the difference between a rock and a dog. There was once he asked me to analyze a piece of cracked LCD display after he deliberately dropped it onto the floor. I had to explain to him the nature of fragile materials vs. gravity — that they will actually break if you drop it from a certain height (eg. drop a wine glass on the floor and it will break). But still, he couldn’t figure it out and kept asking me “Why it broke? Please investigate and give me a report”. I did the report anyway - but it consisted only a couple of short sentences — “LCD panel cracked due to it’s fragile nature. Root cause was due to someone dropping it onto the cold hard floor”. He bought off the report.

- He is slow. Whenever he is in a meeting, he will always ask a lot of incoherent questions. When someone shoots him a sarcastic reply, he will not notice it and nor feel embarrassed about himself. He’s simply, too simple and dumb. A good example would be the mineral water incident. A dimwit he is.

The Demeanor
- He is a sycophant. He likes to jack up his boss’ balls up to the chin and is his pet cocksucker. Shoe polishing is his strongest trait. He doesn’t give a shit if anyone thinks of him lowly… the most important thing for him is to keep his boss happy.

- Rob is a hypocrite. He knows nothing about the thing he does but likes to act as if he’s the smartest person in the company. Example: He once asked me if an oscilloscope could point out the root cause of a product failure (I’ve written about it before). If you do not know how stupid is this, then imagine if a hammer can churn out a suspension bridge. It’s just a tool, you tool.

Alright, I believe that will be enough for anyone to have an inkling on what kind of person Rob is. So I hope this justifies my hatred for him. If you don’t feel the same way like I do already, then it’s too bad for you. You’re probably another asshole like him. A social garbage. A cancer of humanity. A dent on a paint job. A scratch on a CD. Whatever.