November 2, 2003

“White Room” (2002)

It has been some time since I last clubbed. So, yesterday, I planned for a night out with the BODs (Board of Directors, my group of best of buddies) to rekindle our youth-hood.

But our plan had to be scrapped in the last minute when my friend Henry and his girl suddenly fell ill, and requested to go for something lighter. So, we went for a movie instead.

Apparently, Henry’s girl already had something in mind – it was a movie called “White House”. I was like – “What the fuck – White House???”. I certainly have never heard of that title before. Henry’s girl said that it was a new title, a Chinese horror movie that would scare the shit out of us and should be fun. But they were all untrue, as I later learned…

1) The movie is called “White Room”. Not White House.
2) It was not a Chinese movie. It was a Korean movie.
3) It was a horror movie alright, but it did not ‘scare the shit’ out of anyone.

I knew it was a fucking mistake then moment I set my foot into the cinema, as the first thing I noticed was – the movie was in Korean language. Now, think for a bit, why would a movie shown in Malaysia presented in Korean language?? I know there might be some Koreans or people that speaks Korean in Malaysia… but it would not be significant, not enough to even plot a revolt against a whorehouse.

We decided to stay on nevertheless, since we’ve already paid for the ticket, we’d just read the subtitles and see if it’s any good. 10 minutes after the movie started, an abnormally tall guy came in and took a seat right smack dab right in front of me. This guy… being tall for one thing, also sat so upright straight like a human sized dildo, with his big fucking head blocking the entire view of the lower half of the screen, obscuring the subtitles.

(If you don’t already know, our Malaysian cinema seats are not sloped appropriately between the rows to prevent viewing disruptions. If a dude decides to sit like a tin soldier, you’ll have to tilt your head to the side to be able to see the screen or you’ll end up watching his stupid head for the entire length of the movie.)

I was seriously pissed at that time. First, my plan for a good night out failed. Second, we chose to watch the wrong movie. And now third, I have this tall guy with a fucking dick head blocking my view. I was at the verge of having a homicidal rage. At one point, I actually lost my cool and gave a hard kick to the back of that bloke’s seat. The kick was hard enough to jolt the entire row of the seats… but the guy was oblivious about it. A group of teenagers who sat further down the same row however, felt the kick and started to glance over. Probably swearing and shit but, still the guy didn’t give a fuck about anyone. What an inconsiderate moron.

I had to tilt my head to the side and adjust myself multiple times just to get a proper view of the screen. It was a total turn off and that probably killed the mood to watch anything. And that’s probably why I thought the movie sucked. It has to be the worst movie ever. Bad seat, foreign language, bad plot and cheap effects. An utter failure.

michaelooi  | movie reviews  | 

The commenting function has been disabled.