aromatherapy

I did not go to work today. Had some business with EPF (Employees Provident Fund). I hate EPF. I mean, I don’t hate the money per se, but it’s the organization that handles our money that I’m talking about. But do I have a choice? Fuck no. Every time I go to the EPF office, I will cuss till my throat sores because they’re so fucking loathsome.

They are slow, stupid and seriously understaffed. Their systems are screwed up and their procedures are ridiculously tedious. Some of their staffs are rude and some stink like a belacan.

Yep, that’s right, belacan. If you do not know what’s a belacan, it’s a type of fermented shrimp cake. Very popular amongst the locals for cooking. One very distinguishing feature for belacans is that they have a very strong odor. You know, being a fermented food and all. It smelled something like an unwashed private part (that’s about as closest I can describe)

And that’s what I encountered today. It was my turn at the EPF office counter, and when I was there, I was suddenly hit by this stench of unwashed private part odor, just like a piece of fucking belacan. I have no fucking idea why would there be a belacan smell in the office. I was particularly uncomfortable with it and was looking around for the source. I had been suspecting the EPF lady at the counter - because she looked like someone who doesn’t wash her private part, but I was unable to ascertain.

Since I was stuck there, I just hoped that I would be finishing my business as soon as possible and get the fuck out of there - lest I get sick or something.

It was then, I encountered a double whammy. There was this Indian bloke, who was summoned to the counter next to where I was, launched a second wave of malodor attack. His was an armpit odor, like there was a giant cockroach sitting next to me. I was at the verge of keeling over. Unwashed private part plus the cockroach smell. It felt like I was at the foulest spot there could be on the planet… I was stuck in the middle of a belligerence of aromatherapy - a competition of stinking people.

Imagine this - if I were to have a dog’s nose… a few hundred times more sensitive than a human’s… I probably would have knocked out cold by the multi-odor attack.

I don’t understand what’s in these people’s mind. What the hell were they thinking (if they have been…). Don’t they realize that they have such a strong odor emanating from their body? Don’t they know about something that’s called a deodorant? God…

Till now, I still have no idea where did the belacan smell come from. It could be from the feet, or maybe the breath of that EPF lady. But the most likely part would be her hair, because it looked so fucking slicky like that. And I doubt that piece of shit smells good.

I have to hold my breath through the entire ordeal. Once I got everything done, I fled the place without pronto without looking back. And I’m glad to make it out alive… Fuck…