October 12, 2003

ICQ Meeting II

I didn’t go out with my buddies yesterday. I usually parties on Saturday nights, but not yesterday. I just didn’t have the mood to enjoy myself while my father is ill like this.

Here is the sequel for the ‘ICQ meeting’ story (read the first part if the title’s new to you):

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Well, after the first incident with my ICQ friend, Jess, it was not long before Jess & Pornstar arrange for another trip up to Penang. I initially had some reservations about their trip, but Jess was able to convince me that PornStar was innocent. She was piss-drunk back then, and everything was an accident. And she promised me that it won’t happen again this time.

Being a nice person I am, I was like – ok, we’re cool about it. And Henry was also convinced that the unwanted incident was instigated by excessive alcohol intoxication that fateful night. It probably wasn’t PornStar’s fault so, we gave our green light for the second meet at Penang. It was a fucking mistake.

This time, as a precautionary measure (I don’t really know what precautionary measure they were considering), Jess brought along 2 guys with them, her brother & a friend. (Zoyee wasn’t coming). Don’t quite remember their names but, who gives a crap. It’s not important.

Anyway, we arranged to meet at Penang’s famous Gurney drive before we begin the night. So I was waiting with Henry in my car for them to arrive. And it wasn’t long before they show up. I can still remember vividly – once they stopped their vehicles behind ours’, I witnessed a very disturbing sight. We saw PornStar, jumping out from their vehicle, and ran like a dangerous retard towards our car. Henry saw the whole thing too.

I gave Henry this perplexed look, and my hand automatically engaged the first gear. I then sent him this telepathic message that it was his call if I should hit the reverse gear to run over that shit behind there, or I can hit the gas pedal and never return. But he didn’t get enough time to react, for the next thing we knew, PornStar was already inside the car. That was when our nightmare begins.

First, we were requested to bring them to a karaoke lounge. It didn’t sound very bad at that time, because I enjoy singing myself, you know? With the ‘super golden voice of mesmerizing’ and stuff? Yeah. But I found out pretty soon that I was in for a really long night when PornStar began to wallop the microphone with her ‘call of the wild’ howling and of what resembled people farting through their mouth. It was a torture. It felt like she was trying to infect us with sexually transmitted disease through sound wave. Our eardrums were pricked and grilled for approximately 2 awakening hours before we adjourn to the next event – clubbing/boozing.

Once at the club, we were fed with plenty of booze to void of our sobriety. Then, when we were blitzed enough to be careless, PornStar made her move. She grabbed Henry by the neck, and started to sexually abuse him (them fucking sex offenders never learn.) The next thing we know, Henry got ‘curry-chickened’ (love bitten) on his neck and was all shocked by PornStar’s wild advances.

Henry then flicked PornStar away and tried to feign a pass-out. Like a distressed prisoner of war commando, Henry then discreetly pulled me to a dark corner and asked for a brainstorm to get the fuck out of there alive. After a few nanoseconds of telepathic discussion – we decided to stick with the pass-out plan. Henry would continue to feign a pass-out from having too much alcohol and I would be carrying him home. And if everything goes as planned, we should be able to get out of the club and then we’ll be at our liberty to abandon that sex fiend and run for our lives.

And that was what we did. I swear we could have at least got a nomination for an Oscar, as we stumbled out from the place with PornStar screaming for us to come back (that scene will be like a giant bolder rolling down a narrow passageway with both of us running). Labeling her as ‘fucking scary’ is a gross understatement. No words can describe how fucking scared we are. But we made it out alive. As Henry and I were giving each other a five on our escape to the nearest mamak stall (it the night was still too young for us to go home), PornStar called me on my cellphone… bummer…

“WHERE AREE UU GUYYYSS !?!?!?”

“Err… Henry has passed out. He felt like shit and he doesn’t respond to anything… I have to send him home urgently.”

“LET ME SPEAK TO HENRY !!!!!”

[At the same time, Henry was gesticulating that he’d kill me if I do anything stupid]

“Errr… look, PornStar, Henry is totally passed out… [pauses for silence]… see? he couldn’t even speak a word…”

[She began to cry hysterically and cussed me loudly like I have killed the person she loves or something…]

“AAAAA … FUCK! BASTARD ! LET ME SPEAK TO HIM ! I WANT TO SPEAK TO HIM !!! ARRRHHH”

[picture: the Exorcist]

Then, I heard some struggling noise and a few seconds later, Jess took over the phone. She apologized and hung up. And we continued to whack our late night snacks at the mamak stall and discussed about the terrible night we just had.

The next morning, acting as a courteous Penangite, I sent a few sms to PornStar asking for her well-being and she did apologize for her seemingly bizarre behavior. And I also did make some comments about PornStar’s low self esteem and also gave some smartass opinion on how she should fix her attitude. But my friend Jess, apparently, shared that with her and PornStar wasn’t too happy about it and decided to make me her sworn enemy (or something like that).

Have not heard from her ever since. The last I heard from Jess, was that she got herself a decent boyfriend and was leading a normal life now. But who cares, really?

michaelooi  | rompings  | 

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