October 11, 2003

i’ve been invaded

Yesterday, I received a call from an unknown source. A female voice with a fake English accent greeted me when I answered my mobile phone. (conversation was re-enacted based on my memory. Slight discrepancy is expected. So, don’t bitch about it.)

Unknown caller : “Hi Mr Ooi. My name is Irene. Are you convenient to talk?”

Me : “Who is this? Do I know you? Where did you get my number??”

Irene : “Oh, I am actually calling from X hotel. Just want to let you know about our latest promotion here.”

Me : “Uhuh”
[I did not hang up because she kinda sounded like someone hot then…]

Irene : “I’m delighted to inform you that we are giving you a complimentary free 1 night stay at our hotel …”
[I was beginning to like her. I started to imagine her as a somewhat attractive chick]

Me : “Wow… I am surprised, but impressed.”
[X hotel is a very well known luxury hotel in Penang, so…]

Irene : “Only if… you have the membership. You have to join the X hotel club to be able to enjoy the entitlement. May I know what is your line of occupation, Mr Ooi?”
[aaah there’s the catch… her looks were withering… I was planning to hang up]

Me : “Engineering”

Irene : “May I ask, what do you think of X hotel ? Have you been to X hotel before, Mr Ooi?”

Me : “Nope. But I’ve been to one of the pubs located at the skirt of X hotel before… the place was alright.”
[i remember barfing together with Luis after a drinking session beside X hotel before, the place has a big ass sea for us to barf all we want… so it was rightfully rated as ‘alright’]

Irene : “Oh, I just want to let you know that the place has now totally changed. It has been renovated now and it looks realllllyyyyy fantastic… and bla bla bla … restaurant … bla bla … free … bla bla …discount … bla bla … ”
[She sounded desperate. And cheap. And I started to dislike her.]

Me : “Look Irene. It’s very nice of you to let me know so many offers that you’ve got there. Now, why don’t you just send all the information to me through email… including ‘the catch’… I’ll read them through, and respond to you accordingly… ok? It is hard for me to remember so many things you’ve said…”
[I was trying to be polite and stuff, you know?]

Irene :”But… this is telemarketing. It is suppose to be like that…”
[I swear I did not make this up… this is what she said verbatim. That was stupid.]

Me :”Heck, of course I know this is telemarketing. But I’m sure telemarketers have their own email accounts… don’t they ?”
[I was still trying to be polite, but garnished with a hint of sarcasm to taste…]

Irene :”Oh … maybe I can call you back later when you are more convenient to jot the info down…”
[desperate bitch]

Me :”I’m hanging up Irene. My battery’s getting flat.”
[I could have yelled at her, but I didn’t]

Irene :”Ok ok ok, what is your email address?”

I gave her my work email and hung up. But she never sent me anything.

Stupid telemarketers. I hate them.

michaelooi  | phonecalls  | 

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