October 9, 2003

mobile phones – the ultimate invention

I turned 26 last month. The time passes by so fast, and without actually realizing it, I am on my way to reach my retirement age soon. The world is changing everyday, and with us along with it. The world that I lived in 10 years ago was entirely different.

So, how was it like exactly 10 years ago? The dinosaurs were still roaming around and I was still studying back then. I had no permanent girlfriend and was still a virgin (I frolicked a lot… but a late comer on losing my virginity, LOL). Had no car and I rode a Yamaha Sports 100. A chicken ass small bike. And back then, the primary communication was through a wired telephone – mobile phones, IMs and other internet shits were still not available yet.

This actually got me thinking – how the hell did I survive that period of dark ice-age? Well, the traditional and hard way – call my friends at their fixed line and pray hard that they’re at home.

Our friendship then was based primarily on trust. Once we’re suppose to meet up at a certain place, we expect each other to turn up sharp. There was once I waited for a girl at a location for more than an hour, only to find out that she couldn’t make it. And i didn’t even complaint about it. Really stupid.

Just imagine, no mobile phones, calling a chick at her house:

scene 1:
Telephone rings, girl’s mom picks up the phone:
Me: “Err aunty.. may I speak to [chick’s name]?”
Dinosaur: “No such person! don’t ever call here again!” [slams the phone]

scene 2:
Me: “Oh… you are my sunsh…”
Girl: “Eek ! My mom is here !” [slams the phone]

That was how I got myself so proficient in the expletive and profanity department, because I did them so very often to so many over protective and paranoid housewives who got nothing else better to do other than interfering my prospect of finding a mate. What they (housewives) didn’t know was that they’re actually tampering the ecological system and the balance of nature… That’s because if everyone kept slamming the phone like them – there will not be anymore human for the next generation. Their daughters will all be mating with spiders in their own room, instead of us guys. That was why the mobile phone was invented.

Thanks to the invention of mobile phone – young people are now able to find a mate without ever have to worry about their paranoid parents dinosaurs moms. Through the natural evolution (though electronic), mankind can now continue their legacy to dominate the Earth.

So, it was the mobile phones that actually wiped out the dinosaurs… not a giant meteoroid.

michaelooi  | flashbacks  | 

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