sufferings

I began my Saturday by sending my car for servicing and then went to visit dad at Hospice. Dad isn’t looking good. His health is deteriorating fast and he looks very tired and has a slurry speech. His stomach is now bloated with fluids and has swollen legs. I couldn’t explain how bad it feels to see your own father suffering like that. I just don’t know how to put this whole thing in words…

Anyway, after visited dad, I drove back to Emily’s hometown in Perak as schedule. It was raining very heavily on the highway and the driving experience was unpleasant. Could hardly see the goddamn road. Reached at about noon and I began my suffering from thence.

Imagine, this was what I had to endure - no tv, no entertainment, no internet connection and heck, even no mobile phone signals. I spent the whole day sitting around doing nothing. Wanted to help out in the kitchen, but there was already a maid there. Wanted to help out in the shop (yes, Emily’s family lives in a business shophouse) - but they’ve got enough helpers already.

And the place was also littered with kids - Emily’s nephews and nieces. They were running around and screaming like there is not going to be another tomorrow. With so many kids around, I kept finding myself stepping on some unidentified objects on the floor - pukes, bread crumbs, grains of rice, you name it.

And for the whole day, they would watch the same video program over and over again - you know, the kind where one gets to see some stupid clown doing absurd stuffs to amuse kids and teaches them how to spell B-O-R-I-N-G at the same time. The person who invented that children educational video ought to be hung and shot repeatedly. I really can’t understand… we’ve already got so many nurseries, kindergartens and schools to educate our children (and they are expensive). Why the fuck would we need more educational videos for kids then? If the educational videos are so good, then why bother sending them to nurseries or kindergartens?

Anyway, being there was like my worst nightmare came true. After being in torment for a day, I was quick to urge Emily to leave the place immediately after my breakfast this morning. And we’re back in Penang in no time, and then I went to visit my ailing dad.

He started to sleep a lot now. His condition has worsened from the day before. I don’t know but, I think I’m going to lose my dad very soon. His time is almost up. I can feel it. And I’m very sad right now.

I hope dad will get over his sufferings soon, and then leave in peace.