Archive for September, 2003

September 11, 2003

Singapore – day 3 & 4

Well, both day 3 and 4 were so short that I decided to blog them both at one go

On day 3 (Wednesday), I was assigned to dock with several agents. But then, I only selected one of them, in preference of the customers he was going to service that day. The guy’s name is Ben. He was so freaked out about the idea of me docking with him that he lied to me about his location – you know, just so to avoid meeting me. Well, luck was not on his side that day – I met him right on face to face at his office. I was about to yell at him for making my life so difficult, but then, I changed my mind, and decided to follow Nelson again instead.

So, I was reassigned to Nelson. Once we both hopped into the cab, we started talking. Nelson asked me if I have been to Geylang before. I was like surprised + choking + gasping for air… because I totally get what he was trying to find out. Geylang is actually a very well known red light district in Singapore, and I wasn’t so sure what to answer him.

But he didn’t wait for me to answer – he started to talk about his “adventures” there, how the professional livestocks (chickens) there eased his stress etc etc. He did not bother to censor anything at all, and described his whoring activities in vivid details… and this actually made me feel a bit uncomfortable, with the taxi guy hearing everything he said. But then, much to my bewilderment, the taxi guy happened to be a regular as well… and they started to exchange stories.
And at one point, they even talked about the general characteristics of Singaporean chicks, how materialistic they are, etc… They had everything covered like a pro-CNN journalist —- all in their aesthetic Singaporean Hokkien dialect.

Of course, being on a different frequency range of language, I could only comprehend 80% of what they said – hence, I did not participate much in their conversation. X-P

Day 3 ended very quickly, no funny customers. Those we met were high position executives, and they were all stodgy dumb fucks with ugly secretaries. So, nothing much to tell about them and my assignment ended by noon. As an appreciation of his hospitality, I treated Nelson a steak buffet lunch… Then, my day continued with plenty of shopping at Bugis and the city area.

Nightime, I met up with Johnny (one of the BODs) for a short meetup. Hung out at Singapore’s famous Esplanade. It was mid-autumn festival eve then and the atmosphere there was very relaxing & nice.

Image taken with a Nikon Coolpix SQ, the city scene from Esplanade

Day 4 — did not go for any assignment, I fucking overslept. Not being able to productively salvage the rest of the day, I decided to spent my time doing more window-shopping. I then took a cab to the airport. Had a scary ride – because the cab driver was dozing off and almost got me killed (alright, it was that bad, but you get the idea). The cab drifted over a few lanes, made a few scary emergency brakes, made sudden turns, you name it. The guy had to be the worst driver I have ever seen. He almost missed the airport when my colleague gave him a nudge (yeah, I came for my assignment with a colleague).

Damn scary man. My colleague is now lodging a complaint about that maggot infested driving freak through a complaint hotline and is now asking for a compensation for the fright ride or something.

I am blogging all these from the airport’s free internet PC. There is this korean guy standing beside me who is about to turn green soon — because he is so flustered about his free internet PC that keeps locking up. I better run for now, before that guy starts to get mad.


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September 9, 2003

Singapore – on assignment day 2

I boarded a cab today and found out that – the destination I’m heading was a place less than 2 streets away (walking distance). What a fucking sohai I was. But then it was still ok for me because it was all claimable.

Today, I was assigned to a guy called Nelson. The guy sounded a bit serious on the phone, but turned out to be quite a nice chap. It was easy chatting with him, as the guy’s on the same band of frequency with me.

Visited a few customers with him around the city area. Some were abusive, some were downright stupid, and some really freaked me out. Here are some of my encounters :

– One of them, complained of his notebook having performance issue. Asked him if he has ever done any defragmentation on his PC. Funny enough, he didn’t even know what I was talking about, and this guy was an IT guy. WTF.
– I’ve got another customer who taught me how to enjoy feasting on wild animals. I’m not making this up. The guy have his own theory on why SARs existed, and he was preaching us on his philosophy, all the while munching a chocolate fudge on top of his notebook. I was pretty shocked to see him working on the cake, because he was dropping a whole deal lot amount of crumbs into the crevices of his keyboard… which kinda made me figure out the reason for his complain – keyboard failure.

Geez…those guys in tie and coats, they are so “underground” inside.

I got all my assignments completed before lunch and had plenty of free time to kill. So I went to the mall for some windows shopping. Raffles City, Suntec City, Citylink, Marina Square and even to Orchard Rd.

One thing I noticed about Singapore shopping scenes, they’re a big decline compared to the pre-SARS days… most of them look deserted… while many ran out of business. Albeit the amount of shoppers there are still a lot more compared to Malaysia, but it was a shadow of its former state. The place used to be teeming with chicks and whatnots… It’s so different now.


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Singapore – on assignment day 1

Got to Singapore this morning in a dizzy condition. It has been raining cats & dogs today and there were plenty of thick clouds rocking the plane. I hate flying sometimes, makes me sick. Luckily, I’m not on an American flight – else, I would have really puked. I don’t think I want comment about old flight attendants anymore.

Actually, I wasn’t really comfortable with the idea of taking up this assignment in Singapore. The work is to engage behind enemy lines and spy hard about things we can make use to enhance our offense. Something like that. More often than not, you get fucked up in the ass without knowing the reason why. And here we are to make ourselves an easy target for these unscrupulous people. I would very much prefer to stick back in my lab doing my stuff. Why was I being sent out here…

At least the hotel is good. We get to lodge at Swissotel. The place is right above City Link Mall and all watering holes are walking distance away. It has a nice view too – I’m on the 62nd floor and Singapore city view is right outside the balcony. It kind of also reminds me on my last trip here with the BOD, when we lodged in a budget hotel. No windows and without proper ventilation, quite contrary from this hotel I’m in now, that place looked more like a rat hole. And on one of the nights, my buddy Luis saw a fucking ghost sitting on the bed staring back at him. Creepy.

Lesson learned from that trip – always get a hotel room with a window, if not a view.


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September 6, 2003

speaking with the dead

My house phone rang at 2.15am. It rang for quite sometime before waking me up. I gathered around 30% of my consciousness (which was just enough for me to figure out how to open the door, and walk to the phone in the dark) to pick up the goddamn phone. A very monotone female voice spoke something in the phone (like she was in a trance).

I asked “who the fuck is this?”. She began to murmur something unintelligible (that’s probably because I’m half awake that time). Then she said something about my mom… and something about my cousin too.

I kept asking her what is she talking about (I’m still very blur at that time) – she then mentioned something about my grandma (which had passed away on May) & something about possessing my cousin’s body. That was when I got really freaked out. As I tried to slap myself to sober up – I realized that the lady on the phone was actually my stupid sister – Beancurd. I asked “Is this Beancurd? What the fuck is wrong with you? Do you know what time it is??”

She kept uttering some garbage and her voice remained very monotonous. This kept going on for like 10 minutes, with the half awake me hurling cusses after cusses to her.

I forgot how the phone call ended but I know what had happened. She probably sleep walked and prank called on me. I told my mom in the morning and that was when my sister called in again.

This time, she sounded normal. Mom then told her about what she did last night – and as expected – she didn’t have a clue about the incident. She was sleep walking at that time. But my mom was trying to be superstitious about it – could it be my grandma who possessed Beancurd’s body and talked to me on the phone?

I told my mom – grandma had a hard time to even remember the last 4 digits of our house phone number, how could she have possibly made that phone call? It’s fucking ridiculous.

Actually, my cousin’s wife did get possessed last week. She went into a trance or hypnotic state and started to talk about things only my grandma knew. Weird, isn’t it? Are there really ghosts in this world? Or is my cousin’s wife trying to fuck with us?

Well, if it’s for the attention, she could have stripped herself naked and run around the neighborhood – she’ll get all the attention she ever needs. But no one knows if it’s really grandma doing all these out there. I mean, she is not suppose to come back because she’s already dead. It’s unnatural. Could it be that she still has some “business” left undone and was actually trying to hint us about it?

Well, grandma, if you are reading this, you can call me up in the afternoon to my mobile, but please, don’t do it in the wee hours of the morning. I needed the goddamn sleep.

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September 3, 2003

something not nice

I did not go to work yesterday. Why? I needed to go to the dentist very urgently. Something very embarrassing happened which I’m not going to reveal here for some reason. Let’s just say, some part of my front teeth went missing, and I talk + look funny now. There is a big gap between my teeth, and my pronunciation of the word “FUCK” is now distorted.

The trip to the dentist was short. The guy was pretty sure what he needed to do and I too, was confident about what he was going to do. No injection nothing – he just made a few prints from my set of teeth and we’re done. As he will only be able to fix back the missing part on Saturday, hence, I will have to go back to work looking funny today – no choice. I thought of taking a few days off saving the embarrassment… but my leaves are limited now.

Talking about me looking funny, there was another lady I saw today at lunch who looked even funnier. Or, awkward – it’s hard to describe. You see, this lady was wearing a dark colored dress, sleeveless and with a long skirt (whole thing was actually a dress). The dress looked ok but the belt she wore was really disturbing. It was a very thick beige colored belt, and from an angle, it made me thought that her dress was revealing her lardy abdomen – spare tires.

But with a closer look, it was quite clear to me that the ‘thing’ was actually a hideous looking belt. A very big belt – as thick as a world wrestling champion belt wore by the grunts in WWF. And her’s would make Elvis looked like Honky Tonk Man. It’s really out of this world.

Pardon me but, I don’t know a lot about fashion, but this is something common sense. Some people just do not know how to dress appropriately. Belt like this only matches a rugged leather jacket or something to do with latex. But wearing it to work would be a mistake.

Luckily, I only saw the lady after I took my lunch, and left the place quickly without taking another glance at that Wrestlemania hag.

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