July 22, 2003

letting out *caution*

Rob didn’t come to work today … so … the day was kind of relaxing … because I don’t have to see his fucking face.

Tomorrow will be my turn to MIA, as I will on my day off to accompany my dad to the hospital again. His leg is not doing very good – he is starting to limp … he is having a hard time to even walk. Don’t know why. Maybe it is his crashed liver. We’re going to the doctor tomorrow to find out. Hopefully, the doctor can do something about it. No one deserves to suffer like that.

But then, I’m not expecting much. Like, how could I expect someone to fix him back… for all the damage he had been giving to himself? It’s quite impossible, really. To be so ignorant for so many years, and then expect things to patch up just like that.

And this has also been so unfair to me. How much problem do I have to fix before i can lead a peaceful life? These family affairs of mine really get me down sometimes. They come wave after wave… no signs of stopping. I guess, when I was born, the stars were all in the wrong orientation (if they’re for real)… and perhaps that explains why I have to bear the misfortune for all my life.

And that’s probably why i don’t believe in God. If they really existed … there wouldn’t have been so much problem in this world in the first place.

It is time like this that makes me really envy those rich kids with happy families. They don’t have to give a shit about how much they’re going to spend their parents’ money. They don’t have to worry too much about their ambition. Nope … they don’t. They don’t have to worry a single thing about the balance of their family’s financial status. They’d just have to worry about how much money to ask for when they want to go bowling or fuel up a big ass car. How I wish I get to do all that.

michaelooi  | rantings  | 

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